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EW's
Wedding Guide 2004
Who decides what your wedding day should be? Martha Stewart? Emily Post? I know a woman whose wedding cake was a family recipe called "Dump Cake" that involved dumping a box of cake mix into a bowl, then dumping a can of fruit cocktail into the mix, and whipping it all up into their reception table centerpiece. Another woman's wedding allowed a scarlet colored dress for her, and a gold turban for her groom. Outside of family and cultural traditions, maybe your own tastes just run more hip and sassy than the staid white scene: I have a cousin who wore purple for her wedding, just because she wanted to. Martha and Emily would not approve. With as much industry pressure as there is on the prescribed "perfect" wedding day, might be high time for couples out there to rise up in wedded revolt. A celebration of this nature is about more than puffs of white tulle and tiers of butter-cream frosted cakes. There is, after all, the energy it will take to build and maintain a strong, sturdy marriage — after the wedding. When you think about that, it kind of makes you want to take the wedding a little less seriously and keep the focus on fun. We hope you find some useful tips here for your celebration. If you want an all-veggie reception, go for it. If it's your second wedding (or fourth) make it as wonderful as your first — actually, make it more wonderful — new love after loss or breakup is one of the most beautiful things there is. Who decides what your wedding day should be? You do. EW joins you in a toast to wedded bliss and long-lasting unions. — Bobbie Willis
Encore!
Encore! When a person finds love again after divorce, it can, in many ways, be more a cause for celebration than a first wedding. Two and a half years ago when my friend and future mom-in-law Laurel decided on remarriage with sweetheart Mark Neighorn (both of whom had gone through divorces years ago), friends, family and their coastal community in Lincoln City whooped for joy at the union. Laurel, owner of The Red Cock Craftsmen's Outlet, and Mark, a real estate agent and owner of Lincoln City's Real Estate 100, had been dating a few years. Each of them had raised two sons from their previous marriages, and both had worked hard to establish themselves as mainstays in their coastal community: Mark had served the town through various civic committees and Laurel had been regularly sponsoring a fashion show and dinner through an organization she helped found called The Snowflake Foundation, which raises funds to provide medical services, such as mammograms and immunizations, to those community members who can't afford them. After the youngest of their collective children had finished high school, they knew the time was right to have a wedding. They set a date of September 16, 2001 and began plans for the big event. For both Laurel and Mark, planning this wedding was very different from their first weddings. Laurel says, "I was first married in July of l967, immediately after summer school. I remember that my mother did much of the actual preparations, as I was finishing school. It was a conventional ceremony held in a local church. … I remember picking the flowers and the colors. I don't remember being very involved with the food, reception or music much." Mark says, "My first wedding was in March, 1979. I was 25. I thought I was an adult. In retrospect … I didn't know what I was doing. We eloped and went to Reno. It was to be a double ceremony with my ex's sister also getting married at the same time." Laurel and Mark worked together to plan their event and to involve their children, family and friends as part of the celebration. Laurel says, "We spent a lot of time together planning our wedding, and agreed on nearly everything. We both wanted our families involved a lot. The actual ceremony was small and limited to our families and a couple of dear friends. The younger of my sons, Ben, married us, and the older, Dan, stood up with me. My youngest brother, El, catered the food for the reception." El's wife and daughter arranged all the flowers, which he had grown himself. Of the planning process Mark says, "I was way more involved and committed the second time: I handled the initial meeting with the photographer and arranged for the garden rental [where the ceremony was held]. Laurel and I did the invites together, selecting papers, inks, wording, etc. Pretty much it was joint decisions on all stuff: reception place, menu, etc. I would have been happy to be given veto power only, but Laurel kept after me for ideas and thoughts." The reception, Mark and Laurel decided, was "the place where we wanted everyone to come and celebrate with us and have a really good time, and share our joy, and the promise of the day." Held on a warm, sunny fall day in the B'nai B'rith Hall overlooking the east side of Devil's Lake in Lincoln City, the afternoon was full of good food — El prepared a spread of fancy sandwich fixings, salads, fruit and antipasto — good music, provided by a local DJ, and a selection of beer, wine and punch. Laurel had chosen forest green tulle and strings of tiny Christmas lights to compliment El's mix of fall flowers, which included sunflowers, calendula and cosmos. She wore cream-colored lace, and Mark wore a sharp, olive colored suit. A second sister-in-law of Laurel's provided tiny bottles decorated with dried flowers and filled with bubble mix to use in place of rice to send the happy couple off at the end of the day. Of the actual wedding and the notion of remarriage, Laurel says, "It was still scary [this time], but in a different way. When I was younger I went into marriage with the idea that it was forever, and was ill prepared when it wasn't. This time I was more scared because I knew what kinds of things could happen, merging two adult families, etc. But, we were less worried about perfection, I think, knowing that everything would be fine and we would be surrounded by people who had known us for years and thinking this was a great day, no matter what." Mark adds simply, "The first time, I was just an accessory to my own marriage. This second time was about Laurel and me and our friends and loved ones." There are tons of resources available for those of you planning an encore wedding ceremony of your own . Check out www.GettingRemarried.com to get started. There are also etiquette books by authors such as Emily Post (Emily Post on Second Weddings) and Jill Curtis (How to Get Married Again) that may be useful in planning your own celebration.
A Warm Reception Bag the chicken or beef options, and look at what just a few local eateries can plan for your meat-free reception… From Ivy's Cooking: Fresh Fare Appetizers: Main Dish: Side dishes: Black Bean & Garbanzo Bean Hummus
(Makes 4 cups) Drain garbanzo beans, reserving 1/2 cup liquid. Rinse and drain garbanzo beans well. Combine garbanzo beans, tahini, lime juice and garlic in a food processor; puree until smooth. Add black beans and process until beans are coarsely chopped. Transfer to large bowl. Stir in enough reserved garbanzo liquid to create consistency of thick mayonnaise. Add cayenne pepper. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with pita bread. Can be prepared a day ahead. Cover and refrigerate.
From Locomotive: A Wedding at Home Starters: Main Dish: Dessert: Fresh Tomato Tart (Serves 6) Rich, savory pastry crust to fit 9 1/2- to 11-inch pie
or tart pan (recipe online) Roll out pastry and fit into tart pan (preferably one with a removable ring) or pie pan. Chill in freezer 20 to 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Peel onion and chop finely. Trim and peel garlic, and slice crosswise. Grate the mozzarella. Core tomatoes and slice thinly. In a small pan over medium-low heat with just enough oil to prevent sticking, sauté onion lightly until translucent and a little brown at edges. Add garlic and saute just until limp and lightly cooked, but not brown. Cool briefly. When crust is chilled, spread onion-garlic mixture over it and top with mozzarella. Beginning at outer edge of crust, layer overlapping tomato slices in concentric circles. (You can alternate direction of circles for visual interest). Repeat until center is filled. Sprinkle tart with the salt, pepper and oregano. Drizzle tart with a touch of olive oil. Bake at 400 degrees 40 to 50 minutes until crust is lightly golden and firm (rotate pan 180-degrees after 20 minutes for even baking). If tomatoes are very juicy, blot surface of tart with a doubled sheet of paper towels twice during baking — once when rotating pan and again 10 minutes later. Can be baked ahead of time and reheated 7 to10 minutes at 375 degrees. Tart Pastry (for a single 9 1/2- to11-inch crust) In a bowl, mix flour and salt together. Cut butter and margarine into pats and add to flour. Cut shortening into flour with a pastry blender or two butter knives until mixture resembles a combination of coarse meal and kidney-bean-size shortening morsels coated in flour. Drizzle 3 T. of water over mixture and blend lightly with a fork until mixture pulls together. Add remaining water (even a little extra) only if necessary. Do not over-water. Pieces of shortening should still be visible in dough. Gather up dough ball and turn out onto a heavily floured, flat surface. Roll out to a little bigger than pie or tart pan, turning over once or twice to re-coat with flour. Brush off excess flour with a dry pastry brush. Place dough into pan. If using a tart pan, press dough firmly against sides, cutting off excess to patch any thin or uncovered areas (use floured fingers so dough sticks to itself, not you). If using a pie pan, double excess dough under edges when fitting it into pan and pinch to decorate.
From Shining Sun Raw Food & Juice Bar Appetizers: Soup: Entrée: Dessert:
Carob Coconut Persimmon Crème Pie
(Makes one 9-inch pie) Crust: Soak walnuts 6 to 8 hours. Rinse and drain, then blend in food processor until fine. Add 2 c. dates and blend. Press mixture into a 9-inch pie pan. Filling: Blend avocados, carob and 2 1/2 c. dates until smooth. Spread onto pie crust. Topping: Open coconuts, scrape out jelly and pour coconut water into a cup. Place remaining dates, coconut jelly, 1/4 cup of coconut water and both persimmons into a food processor and blend until smooth. Spread over filling. Decorate pie with slices of bananas and a sprinkling of carob powder.
*If persimmon is not in season, simply add 1 1/2 c. of your favorite fruit. – Compiled by Bobbie Willis
Kitsch
to Couture
Selecting attire to wear for the "big day" can be a complicated process. Maybe you have had your ideal wedding gown in mind since you were a small child. Or maybe you panic at the mere thought of white; maybe you don't want to wear a dress at all. But whoever you are, there's no denying that the foray into matrimonial fashion can be a daunting endeavor. Whether you plan to wear jeans or satin, deciding which ensemble best expresses your personality and the theme of the wedding as a whole can be nerve-wracking. However, it's important to remember that this day is yours, and what you wear is entirely up to you. A meaningful wedding doesn't always have to be about bridesmaids and bouquets… unless you want it to be. There's an entire world of choices at your fingertips — from traditional to avant garde. Local bridal shop owner Connie Ourada says the bride should start thinking about her wedding outfit as soon as she gets engaged, and she should make her final selection about six months before the event (to allow time for fittings, alterations and additional planning). Ourada adds that browsing catalogues and magazines and surfing the web are good ways to begin exploring all the options. Then, she says, go shopping. The most obvious way to start shopping is to peruse nearby bridal shops and boutiques, especially if you're searching for a more formal or traditional gown. Every bridal store is different. Some sell off the rack, others order from try-on samples. Certain shops will offer a relaxed atmosphere, while others focus on a high-pressure sales environment. Some will require appointments; others accept walk-ins. It's a good idea to call the store ahead of time so you'll know what to expect. Once you begin shopping, Ourada says the key is being open-minded. "Looking for a dress should be a fun experience," she says. "Try on a hundred dresses. The most important thing is to be open to trying on different styles." But what if your idea of "different" extends beyond what these bridal shops can offer? Even if your idea of the perfect wedding outfit is something completely different, you still have plenty of options. Thrift stores, antique stores and fashion boutiques are just a few ideas. Alterna-wedding web sites like modgirl.com can also help you plan the clothing for a distinctive soirée. "You could have mom walk you down the aisle or your best friend hold your bouquet at the altar — if you have an altar and a bouquet to be held," modgirl suggests. "You could wear a fuchsia dress, a black dress, a crocheted dress — or pants. Don't stop being you just because everyone's looking." Finally, Ourada says, "For those who want something really different, a lot of times their best bet is to have something designed for them." Eugene designer Bess Nobel says having a wedding ensemble designed for you is often the best choice. Nobel creates her outfits (mostly couture gowns) from sketches, ideas and photographs brought in by her customers, as well as her own imagination. She has made everything from pant suits to dresses based on historical themes, and she says custom design is a great choice for the bride who wants to stay away from the "cookie-cutter" wedding. "Usually, she wants a very sophisticated look," Nobel says. "She wants to make a statement with her wedding gown."
Nobel also stresses that white is appropriate for any bride — first wedding or fifth. However, she adds that you shouldn't be afraid to play with color and theme. "The occasion makes it a wedding dress," she says. "It doesn't have to be white." From western weddings to Grateful Dead themes to historical gowns she has designed it all. She says experimentation with fabric is also a great way to set your outfit apart, listing tie-dye, hand-painted silk and fairy wings as some examples. Once, she made a bright red dress and matching red veil for a customer. No matter what you choose for your wedding, both Nobel and Ourada agree that the most important detail should be you. Your outfit should be a gift to yourself and a reflection of who you are. "It's like a surprise, so that when (the bride) walks down the aisle, people will gasp," Nobel says. "She wants to be really special and this is the way to do it."
A
Conversation Piece A few years ago, while helping my sister-in-law with all of the crazy details that go along with getting married, I discovered that once the flowers had been chosen for the bouquets and the tuxedos had been fitted, there was very little time or money left over to account for centerpieces for their outdoor reception. After a painstaking brainstorm with the florist, we devised a rather simple solution that fit into everybody's schedule and still managed to fit into our budget. On each table, a single burgundy colored rose floated in a small glass bowl; the water kept the blossoms from wilting as we moved on to more important details. As I began considering all of the different ways there are to dress up a table, I realized that the centerpiece serves not only as a main decoration, but also as one of the things that nearly every guest will notice as they make their way through buffet lines and champagne. Whether it is something completely new and different, or a new twist on an old classic, an interesting centerpiece becomes something of a conversation piece. There are truly no limits to what you can do and no rules that can't be broken. However, a good thing to remember is to keep the arrangement low, as your guests should be encouraged to communicate across the table. But from there, nearly anything goes. Emerging trends this year in the floral realm seem to be monochromatic arrangements in white or in soft pastels, large bouquets of a single type of flower or variations using several types of greenery as the focal point of each table. "This time last year, we did a lot of red and white weddings around Eugene, and people have also been really into using quite a few shades of green (for tabletop arrangements)," says Jewel Murphy of Passionflower Design. "But for the most part, people are just doing really personal arrangements, doing whatever the bride likes." If you have the time to plan ahead, ask friends and relatives to plant your future centerpieces in their gardens. Hydrangeas and dahlias must be planted in March or April in order to bloom for a wedding in June, while others, like the dwarf calla, would have to be planted right away. Check with your local nursery for details on your favorite flower and be sure to give yourself enough time. From traditional ideas stem more creative touches, like wrapping simple vases or even jars with handmade paper, or with ribbons or fabric that follows your color scheme. Hand-painted details can be added to metal pails or to terra cotta pots to tastefully display living plants or flowers, or even a sapling that could be planted later in memory of your special day. A very locally inspired option would be to hire your neighbor or old roommate who is also your favorite glassblower to create personalized vases or candle holders to lighten up your meal. Odds are they are willing to work with you to create a unique and unforgettable decoration that is well within your price range. Or consider having a local vendor fashion several low candles inscribed with the bride and groom's names and the date as a keepsake. Surely there are brides brave enough to think outside the vase in this case and consider alternatives to fresh flowers as the heart of the décor. There are several ideas that can be pulled together quickly and at a relatively low cost. Consider searching for antique goldfish bowls and placing a pair of guppies or a graceful beta fish on each table surrounded by greens. A colorful collection of seasonal fruit, especially citrus, looks sophisticated when stacked in an out-of-the-ordinary bowl. Whatever you decide, take time in considering the centerpieces you will use at your reception. Make an attempt to personalize them in a way that connects you and your guests on your special day. Be creative, throw all of the rules out the window and most importantly, do whatever it is you need to make sure that your guests have something to talk about.
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