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Eugene Weekly : Locals Only : 05.18.06

 

Short, Sweet and Sour

BY JEF STOUT

RATING SYSTEM Christmas present equivalents.

  1. You are tossed in Santa's sack and beaten by elves
  2. Elves lure you outside, steal your pajamas and play "keep away"
  3. Santa finds out you don't celebrate Christmas and pees on your rug
  4. A toothbrush to share with your brother
  5. A puppy with chronic diarrhea
  6. Thomas Kincaid coffee table book
  7. Pornographic film collection that you suspect might star your father
  8. Saxophone lessons from Kenny G
  9. "Good news" from the angel Gabriel (See Luke 1:26)
  10. A superpower of your choice

 

Anne

Anne, Bad Bad Bike Thief

A girl, a guitar and some twiddly noises. Pleasant and hypnotic for a weekend morning. (8)

Big Roy and the Twigs, Air Matsunga

Big Roy does a great AM rock impression. Too bad he also does a bad Michael Bolton impression. (7)

bob

His press release says not to confuse him with the Dylan who shares his name, but his nasal voice, simple chord strumming and harmonica say something else. It's hard luck, folks. (5)

The Caledonians

Bagpipes. Maybe you understand the appeal. I leave it to you to give a grade. (1-10)

Conjugal Visitors

With a name like Conjugal Visitors, they should be punk, right? More at home at the Grand Ole Opry than CBGBs, they'll make you slap your Mason jar of moonshine in double time. (7)

The Dahman Beck Band, Ride the Night

Sometimes sounds like a late-era Leonard Cohen. Other times sounds like a beginner's class in metaphor (e.g. "Black is white, up is down, left is right, square is round. These are the days of missing you"). (4)

The Divers

Had I just finished a six-pack, I could've mistaken this for Chuck Berry. Nothing too original, but it remains close to the source material of early rock 'n' roll and surf guitar. (7)

Inner Limits, The Sound

Fusion gets a bad rap, but it's such an admirable goal. Too bad it hangs out with such a bad crowd, like those "jam band" boys down the street. (4)

Lou Crist

Jesus, Crist, if I wanted elevator music, I'd sit in an elevator. Remember, Lou plays pretty piano and creepy synthesizer music, so you can have two moods in one album! (2)

Macaco Velho, Macaco

I don't know what they're singing about (Portuguese is not my first language), but it makes me want to dance while wearing a silly costume. (6)

Mary-Elizabeth Holby, Nitroglycerin Violin

I'm a sucker for violin. (7)

Menagerie

These guys are really, really snappy dressers. (3)

Redox, Rx

It's a decade of modern rock radio rolled into one: it's good, it's bad, it's kinda loud. (6)

The Reward System, Rated R

Atari beats, sci fi synths and happy-happy goof raps from the next group of kids inspired by Eminem. (6)

Rock Scarlet, Morning Star

When Wayne Campbell first sees Cassandra, he utters one phrase: "This chick can wail." That's all I have to say for this bit of chick rock cheese. (4)

The Surf Trio, Forbidden Sounds

As expected, it's surf music. Some-times it's faster than other times. (6)

Trapped in a Minivan, Half Rack

Eugene's been without its very own White Stripes-inspired band for too long. (9)

Sweet Aloha

It's music of, and inspired by, Hawaii. Band includes actual Hawaiians. (6)

Vega

Enough is enough. See Vega and the other "groove" bands live at Luna or wherever you want, but are you really going to listen to a full album? No. You'll enjoy them just fine during dinner and drinks, but when you're at home, you'll listen to something much better. (4)

 

 

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