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Short,
Sweet and Sour
BY JEF STOUT
RATING
SYSTEM Christmas
present equivalents.
- You are tossed
in Santa's sack and beaten by elves
- Elves lure you
outside, steal your pajamas and play "keep away"
- Santa finds out
you don't celebrate Christmas and pees on your rug
- A toothbrush
to share with your brother
- A puppy with
chronic diarrhea
- Thomas Kincaid
coffee table book
- Pornographic
film collection that you suspect might star your father
- Saxophone lessons
from Kenny G
- "Good news" from
the angel Gabriel (See Luke 1:26)
- A superpower
of your choice
 |
| Anne |
Anne, Bad Bad Bike Thief
A girl, a guitar and some twiddly noises. Pleasant and hypnotic
for a weekend morning. (8)
Big Roy and the Twigs, Air Matsunga
Big Roy does a great AM rock impression. Too bad he also does a
bad Michael Bolton impression. (7)
bob
His press release says not to confuse him with the Dylan who shares
his name, but his nasal voice, simple chord strumming and harmonica
say something else. It's hard luck, folks. (5)
The Caledonians
Bagpipes. Maybe you understand the appeal. I leave it to you to
give a grade. (1-10)
Conjugal Visitors
With a name like Conjugal Visitors, they should be punk, right?
More at home at the Grand Ole Opry than CBGBs, they'll make you slap
your Mason jar of moonshine in double time. (7)
The Dahman Beck Band, Ride the Night
Sometimes sounds like a late-era Leonard Cohen. Other times sounds
like a beginner's class in metaphor (e.g. "Black is white, up is down,
left is right, square is round. These are the days of missing you").
(4)
The Divers
Had I just finished a six-pack, I could've mistaken this for Chuck
Berry. Nothing too original, but it remains close to the source material
of early rock 'n' roll and surf guitar. (7)
Inner Limits, The Sound
Fusion gets a bad rap, but it's such an admirable goal. Too bad
it hangs out with such a bad crowd, like those "jam band" boys down
the street. (4)
Lou Crist
Jesus, Crist, if I wanted elevator music, I'd sit in an elevator.
Remember, Lou plays pretty piano and creepy synthesizer music, so you
can have two moods in one album! (2)
Macaco Velho, Macaco
I don't know what they're singing about (Portuguese is not my first
language), but it makes me want to dance while wearing a silly costume.
(6)
Mary-Elizabeth Holby, Nitroglycerin Violin
I'm a sucker for violin. (7)
Menagerie
These guys are really, really snappy dressers. (3)
Redox, Rx
It's a decade of modern rock radio rolled into one: it's good, it's
bad, it's kinda loud. (6)
The Reward System, Rated R
Atari beats, sci fi synths and happy-happy goof raps from the next
group of kids inspired by Eminem. (6)
Rock Scarlet, Morning Star
When Wayne Campbell first sees Cassandra, he utters one phrase:
"This chick can wail." That's all I have to say for this bit of chick
rock cheese. (4)
The Surf Trio, Forbidden Sounds
As expected, it's surf music. Some-times it's faster than other
times. (6)
Trapped in a Minivan, Half Rack
Eugene's been without its very own White Stripes-inspired band for
too long. (9)
Sweet Aloha
It's music of, and inspired by, Hawaii. Band includes actual Hawaiians.
(6)
Vega
Enough is enough. See Vega and the other "groove" bands live at
Luna or wherever you want, but are you really going to listen to a full
album? No. You'll enjoy them just fine during dinner and drinks, but
when you're at home, you'll listen to something much better. (4)
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