Cosmic
Giggles An
imaginative good time by
Molly Templeton
MONSTERS
VS. ALIENS: Directed by Conrad Vernon and Rob Letterman. Written
by Letterman, Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky, Jonathan Aibel and
Glenn Berger. Story by Letterman and Vernon. Starring the voices
of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Rainn
Wilson and Stephen Colbert. Dreamworks/Paramount, 2009. PG. 94 min.
Monsters vs. Aliens gets its flashiest 3D moment out of
the way quickly, and with little fuss: Early on, a geek in a research
facility bounces his paddle-ball thingie right close to your face.
After that, the 3D is mostly just there to look cool, especially
in space, where planetary rings and asteroids drift prettily along.
What isn’t drifting nicely is the ship belonging to Galaxxhar (Rainn
Wilson), who needs this cosmic rock thing for some totally unclear
purpose. Mostly he just wants it. He’s one of those old-school alien
baddies, just trying to take over the world, no worries.
The cosmic rock, meanwhile, has turned doormat Susan Murphy (Reese
Witherspoon) into the (almost) 50-foot woman, in the process making
her ineligible for marriage to her self-obsessed fiancé, Derek (Paul
Rudd). (Fifty-foot fiancées are hard to keep quietly at home, and
they do, as Derek points out, cast quite a shadow.) After her growth
spurt, Susan is quickly picked up by the military, led by the puffed-chest
General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland), who’s not really all that
bad. In a top-secret facility, she gets a new name (Ginormica!)
and meets her new best buds: the Missing Link (Will Arnett), an
ancient fish-man; B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), a blue blob that resulted
from a tomato incident; Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), whose appearance
is the result of his own experimentations; and Insectosaurus, who,
er, actually, no one bothers to mention where the giant grub-creature
came from. But despite its towering size, Insectosaurus is easily
led, provided you have a large enough light.
So there you have it: Monsters — borrowed here and there from the
catalog of old movies — versus aliens, or at least an alien.
It would be overly generous to say that MvA makes the most
of this appealing premise, but it would be needlessly unkind to
say that it entirely fails to live up to it, either. Everyone involved
— from Witherspoon down to Amy Poehler, who voices Galaxharr’s computer
— appears to be having a good time, but a good time is all there
is to the movie. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Sure,
Susan learns that she’s capable of more than she expected, and it’s
refreshing to watch the second animated feature this year in which
the lead is a) female and b) not giddily wedded at the end.
But MvA remains shallow and giggle-worthy rather than smartly
funny, despite (or maybe because of) its attempts to walk a careful
line between snot rocket jokes and Close Encounters of the Third
Kind references. Though many of the references are fairly gentle,
the Close Encounters moment just might be the movie’s best:
When the president (Stephen Colbert) ventures forth to meet Galaxharr’s
alien robot probe, he doesn’t speechify; he reaches for a small
synthesizer. Neither Encounters’ famous five-note melody,
the Vulcan hand sign nor the theme from Beverly Hills Cop
does the trick, but the attempt to communicate with an alien robot
through various touchstones of pop culture is smartly charming.
As the characters zoom off into battle with their interstellar adversary,
however, the smart tone gets knocked out of the way in the kerfuffle.
It all looks spiffy, sure. But looks, like size, aren’t everything.