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Eugene Weekly : Best of Eugene : 2009-2010

 

Best of Eugene 2009-2010: Best of the Ballots

 

BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN

Saying “Best Politician” is like saying “Worst Orgasm.”

BEST MOMENT IN LOCAL SPORTS

That crazy play when the guy dropped the ball! Right on the ground!

BEST ALL-AGES HANGOUT

Watching Vaux’s Swifts fly into the Agate Street smokestack.

BEST THING ABOUT EUGENE WEEKLY

All the creepy “I saw you”s.

Deeper and more personal than the average cat.

Oh Dan Savage, how I want to spoon thee

Reading the personal ads, lol.

That you think you are a newspaper

Well if you are friends with the writers you might have something to say here.

BEST STEAK

Stuck in Rush Limbaugh’s “heart.”

WORST THING ABOUT EUGENE WEEKLY

A-Hole D-bag letters to the editor being used as a forum to promote stupidity.

Doesn’t have naked chicks.

It’s hoity toity and pretentious.

Kind of smutty toward the back.

Short, lame and for pussies.

Snide writing. We don’t need to spend time being told that you are cooler than your topic, newsperson.

That it’s basically the Fox News of the left in Eugene.

Too ready to pick a fight and dis Eugene.

Whiny people who whine too much.

You’re not actually smashing the state or challenging the status quo.

BEST WAY TO IMPROVE EUGENE

Find a way to secure the street signs on High Street! They always seem to get stolen.

Best of the ballots

BEST CATEGORY WE SHOULD’VE INCLUDED (AND WHO’D WIN IT)

Beardiest Bouncer: Josh from the Horsehead

Best Locally Made Male-Enhancement Product: Oakshire Espresso Stout

Best Fro, Local Celebrity or New Person in Town: Dave Orien the waffle guy

Best Poodle Master

Best Street Musician/Busker: That guy with the banjo who’s lately been in front of the Kiva. He has a stunning moustache.

BEST WAY TO IMPROVE EUGENE

Convert the buses to biodiesel, like in OHIO. The buses in COLUMBUS run on biodiesel and they have for a few years now. OHIO. WHY THE HELL ARE WE NOT AS GREEN AS OHIO?!

BEST WAY TO IMPROVE EUGENE

Fix the fucking bike lanes before somebody gets killed. Also, a Lebanese deli would be rather sweet.

 

Categories:

Civic Pride

Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll

Eat Your Heart Out

Dollars & Sense

Creative Endeavors

The Kitchen Sink

Staff Picks

Best of the Ballots