Summer Guide 2011:
Take it to the River Inner tubes, cold water and hot daysû
Jump How does starting off your summer freefalling from 10,000 feet sound?
Cool off with your brain off VI: Son of Sequelitis
Enter the Realmû Live your legend this summer at Faerieworldsû
Cool off with your brain off VI:
Son of Sequelitis
According to Box Office Mojo ‹ûas referenced by Roger Ebert in a required-reading Newsweek piece about Hollywood, sequels and originality ‹û there are 27 movie sequels coming out this year. And those arent all IIs and IIIs ‹ gosh, no! Though to be fair, the highest number belongs to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, which is an eight, and a thing to be excited about, no matter how you slice it.û
Sequels arent all bad. I know that as well as any geek whos ever argued about which superhero movie is the best (The Dark Knight! No, Spiderman 2! No, X-Men 2 !) and who counts The Empire Strikes Back as a lifelong favorite. But theres a difference between a story worthy of continuation and a two-hour ad designed to sell cheap toys and make all its dough off product placement. As Ebert writes, øWeekend releases between May and September might better be covered by marketing specialists than film critics."
And what might they be covering? Lets take a peek.
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 There was a 2?
PUSS IN BOOTS This wholly unnecessary spinoff from the hideous Shrek franchise makes me cover my fairy-tale-loving eyes and moan hopelessly.
SPY KIDS 4 If you accidentally keep holding down shift while typing that title in all caps, it becomes Spy Kids $, which seems appropriate.
CARS 2 Wait, you cry! Thats Pixar! They make good movies! Yes, they do. But might there be something of a disconnect between Pixars the-world-is-going-to-hell Wall-E and the continuation of a story about the vehicles that are helping drive us there? (Also, is Cars anyones favorite Pixar flick? Really?)
PIRANHA 3DD Points, at least, for taking the title exactly where it ought to go.
GREEN LANTERN Not technically a sequel, but it feels like the sequel to an idea someone once had about how superhero movies might be cool, or smart, or not look like they were created on someones laptop in the 90s. If anyones abs dont need cheesy digital enhancement, theyre Ryan Reynolds abs. No?
FINAL DESTINATION 5 JUST DIE ALREADY. ‹ Molly Templeton