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Best Concert Venue We've Never Been To

We’ve never been to a concert at the Ant House.

But we hear it’s good.

We hear it’s got all the blood and guts of a real basement punk venue, which is great because Eugene badly needs a place like that.

We hear it’s tiny.

We hear it’s dark.

We hear it’s shitty — that’s what makes it so good.

We hear they do metal shows, too.

And maybe even rap.

We hear Ant House shows are louder than anything.

We imagine it smells like stale piss and B.O. in there.

The neighbors probably hate the Ant House.

We imagine the cops want to shut it down.

We bet it’s, like, fire-hazard crowded sometimes.

Most people we know have never heard of it.

Maybe the Ant House wants to keep it that way.

We hear it’s near the Taco Bell on 7th.

Taco Bell is the best place to eat when you’re drunk at 3 in the morning after a good punk show.

Otherwise stay the hell away from Taco Bell.