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The Satire Issue

Remember, it’s April Fools Day?

Every single day that’s arrived since Jan. 20, we wake up, blink, rub our eyes and remember: It’s all still true. These are the times that call for inspiring words and deep, deep thoughts to live by.

Relax, reader. You won’t find any of them here.

What you will find are shimmering flaky truths that are the best our writers can offer. A young woman’s thoughtful reflections on how deeply she deserves trophies for everything she does in life. An investigation into the incredible space-time warp that passes for entertainment in Eugene. A gentle suggestion for ridding downtown of man and woman’s best friend. And — field trip! — our favorite places in Eugene to cry in public. There’s more, so keep on reading.

 

Confessions of a Millennial Hoarder

UO Researchers Say Eugene Music Venues May be Unstuck in Time

Fancy Buildings Falling Apart

A Modern Proposal for preventing the dogs of homeless and poor people from being a burden to Eugene sidewalks and businesses — and for making them useful

Stop the Press! A public records request is finally answered by the University of Oregon

Nevetheless, the Eugene City Council persisted: Recent secret tweets from @realUGNcitycouncil

Top 5 Places in Eugene to Cry in Public, Ranked

Letters to the Editor 2017-04-01