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Soak Up the Sun While Sucking Your Swill

Cheap beer and gamesmanship
Polish frisbee in action.

There’s a bevy of crazy cheap beer out there that sud-suckers pretend to hate — you know, the industry standards like PBR, Hamm’s and other such swill. If you’re one of the many beer drinkers below the poverty line in our wonderfully indebted country, then there’s probably a good chance you’ll end up drinking that stuff at some point. 

In this situation, I recommend making the best of what you’ve got: Don’t sit alone at home in the dark drinking piss-in-a-can; take it outside into the sunshine and make a game of it. Besides, it tastes about as good warm as it does cold. 

Enter Polish Frisbee (otherwise known as Fris-Knock or Polish Horseshoes and no, EW doesn’t endorse Polish jokes; we didn’t name this game), the drinking game that helps you forget how watered down the domestic section tastes, and perhaps a good way to taper off spending the last of your paycheck on beer.

The recipe is simple: four players, two empty 22 oz. bottles, two shoulder-height plastic PVC pipes, a Frisbee, a backyard and a 30-rack of something you don’t mind spilling or savoring (see “swill” above). Set the poles up at either end of the backyard, balance the bottles on top and divide into teams of two.

From here the objective is simple: Using the Frisbee, knock your opponents’ bottles to the ground before they hit yours. If the bottle is struck directly, that’s worth two points; if the pole is struck but the bottle still falls, that’s worth one. Play to five. Defense is allowed, but you gotta be at arm’s length from the pole at all times until the bottle falls; you can make a crazy, diving save if need be.

Here’s the (literal) catch that makes this more difficult than it sounds — you have to catch the Frisbee every single time it comes to your end, and you have to be holding a beer in one hand at all times. If you’re a cigarette smoker, tough luck, you figure it out. If you fail to catch the Frisbee (or if the other team knocks you), then drink. If you lose the Frisbee on a roof, or it gets stuck in a tree, finish your fucking beer and go home, you terribly uncoordinated killjoy.

The simplicity in this wondrous pastime’s framework allows for varying rules, so make up as many as you wish: penalty shots for awful throws, for example, work well. If there are more than four of you playing, then try three aside instead of making someone sit out. 

As one grows older, the point of drinking games evolves as far beyond the goal of simply getting drunk. It becomes more like a sport in which drinking is just a perk, secondary to the actual fun of interacting with one another in friendly competition. At the end of the day, though, it’s win-win; if you lose, you get the honor of having more deliciously bad swill sliding down your gullet.

Enjoy Polish Frisbee responsibly, as always, and eventually you might find that just being outside is, in itself, more than enough fun. Who knows? Perhaps alcohol isn’t always a requirement on sunny afternoons.