• Eugene Weekly Loves You!
Share |

Columns

A poll of county residents showed that 51 percent would vote for a tax increase to fund more jail beds. My guess is that that number would go to 71 percent if some of the money could be used to pay developers not to build any more student housing.  

I’m a 27-year-old man in a two-year relationship with a 26-year-old woman. My last partner cheated and lied and did some unforgivable things. I wasn’t blameless — I stayed with her long after I realized it wasn’t working — but our relationship did unearth a kink. After I found out about her cheating, I got extremely turned on thinking about it. I never told her.

I want to violate the American taboo on socialism in response to the Weekly’s Jan. 17 Slant column that asks are we really listening to Martin Luther King Jr.’s message. “If so, why the growing disparity between rich and poor?”

After sending an embarrassing proposal to the county commissioners, their director of human resources got back a memo, I’m guessing, that read something like this:

“Your proposal to give a double-digit salary increase to the county administrator and to the county counsel — which was reported in the paper just as we were about to hold public hearings on the need for a tax increase — is not helpful. Get on the team, Madilyn. You’re not working for Karl Rove … are you?” 

The tents are back. Set up by SLEEPS (Safe Legally Entitled Emergency Places to Sleep), the tents are reminders of two basic biological needs: the need for shelter and for sleep. These needs go with being human, and they are denied to the unhoused in our city.

I’ve been a fan of your Savage Lovecast for a long time, but I had to write after hearing Marty Klein’s awesome talk about the fallacy of “sex addiction.” I am 27, and for most of my adult life, I have suffered from complete sexual dysfunction with partners. I was ashamed and thought I was too sexually screwed up to be with a partner because I’m kinky.

As the fight over genetically modified canola and other GM crops escalates in the Willamette Valley, a group of farmers and neighbors in Benton County have spent the past year talking about how to stop GMOs.

The best way to win any debate is to define the debate topic and establish the rules to be followed. The firearms industry and its lobbyist organization, the NRA, are working 24/7 to do just that.

Don’t you think that the way Chip Kelly darted from the Ducks to the Eagles makes him look flighty?

A friend of mine on the opposite coast is a crossdresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time but hadn’t seen in a while, and she told her that she wanted her to come to her house fully dressed for some hot sex to “explore her bi-curiosity” or some shit. I told her to go for it, saying gender-transgression play is potentially hot. I neglected to mention that she should only go for it if she trusted this girl (hereafter known as “Evil Bitch”).

I keep hearing the question, “Why are farmers so worried about canola?” For the last seven months I’ve studied the topic, spoken with diverse farmers, read books on seed-saving and vegetable development, and researched canola. Here’s what I’ve learned and what you should know.

More guns are not a solution to gun violence. They may, of course, be a solution to overpopulation.

The doorbell rang. I was grating an organic beet for our dinner salad, which we’d have as soon as Wifey got home from yoga. Ding-dong. A quick rinse swirled magenta beet juice down the sink.

My name is Nancy, and I'm 19. My boyfriend's name is Carl, we have been together for almost a year-our anniversary is actually February 14!-and we have great sex frequently! I want to do something sexy for us on our anniversary. I plan on being with Carl for years to come, and I don't want the sex to become monotonous. For a while, I've wanted to go to a sex store to purchase a few things to spice things up. I found a supportive, nonjudgmental friend who wants a few kinky things for her and her boyfriend.

Migration is the word for this month. The ponds and reservoirs in the valley are teeming with winter residents. Nothing makes having nice binoculars pay off more than feasting the eyes on the intricate patterns of a male green winged teal, shovelhead or bufflehead. I never get over the flash of amazement at how quickly a bufflehead can spin over and disappear under the water on a dive. Similarly startling is a cormorant suddenly coming up like a submarine periscope breaking a glassy surface.

The U.S. military has a well-kept and shameful secret. It is called military sexual trauma, and it is of epic proportions, with over 3,000 reported rapes or sexual assaults occurring each year.

Good news for a change. Scorecard on Duck football post season: Oregon 35 — Kansas State 17, Oregon 1 — NFL 0.

I’m a straight male, 21 years old. I love women, I’ve always loved women, I’ve always loved having sex with women. However, in the last year, here and there, I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn. One night, after drinking with a friend and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, so nothing new. But somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex.

H. Rapp Brown once quipped that “violence is as American as apple pie.” It seems we’ve spent the last fifty years proving he was right. With each massacre of innocents we rekindle our resolve to do something, to change something to, somehow, prevent the next tragedy. Everyone of us has an idea, a plan, a cure; yet, it seems nothing changes.

It seemed to happen overnight. A new uprising for Indigenous rights and environmental justice has begun. Most of us heard about it through social media first. Flash mob Round Dance videos uploaded to YouTube of First Nations in Canada reclaiming public spaces to send their message of un-honored treaties have now reached all four corners of the globe.

Gun control would be a lot less contentious if someone could show that guns contribute  to traffic delays.

More than a thousand people showed up for a recent Savage Love Live event at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It goes without saying that the students at UW submitted more questions than I could answer in 90 minutes. As promised, Madison, here are some bonus answers to questions that I didn’t get to during our time together ... 

Can an open relationship work if it’s this type: dating two people, separately, both serious, neither relationship is the “primary” one?

Define “work.”

1. Hurricane Cassandra (aka “Sandy”) will again send advance warning of her return to the East Coast but no one will believe her.

2. Ice skating in hell will create new converts to the seriousness of climate change.

3. PERS retirees will be forced to wear a scarlet P on their chests, and retiring members in the private sector will be arrested for showing inadequate envy.

4. Walmart executives will lobby for a change to the U.S. Constitution – the part calling for “a more perfect union.”

All of us feel the pain of the parents, families, neighbors and friends of the children and educators who died at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. Such senselessness is unfathomable.