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Society for the Legitimization of the Ubiquitous Gastropod

The time has come again to choose a new leader of the Society for the Legitimization of the Ubiquitous Gastropod, aka a new SLUG queen. The old queens, Raining Queen Eugenia Slimesworth, and Emcee Queen Bananita Sluginsky invite the people of Eugene to watch the contenders for the throne compete, showing off their talent, costume “and ability to ad lib witty answers to inane questions (a parody of the wildly uneven ‘interview’ segment of many beauty pageants) but it doesn’t hurt to attempt to secure the title with a good old fashioned palm buttering,” according to the SLUG queen website, which itself was built as a bribe by Old Queen Slugtoinette. Remember, “bribe early and bribe often,” is a SLUG queen motto. Judges this year include the old queens; Lindsay Selser, a transportation planner at the city of Eugene; yours truly, editor of Eugene Weekly; and a randomly chosen audience member. Once chosen, SLUG queens act as very unofficial city ambassadors and host a ball that benefits a cause embraced by the queen. “Contestants must be 21 or older, but there are no other restrictions of any kind with regard to sex, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, race, disability, creed, species, etc. The SLUG Queen embodies the spirit of diversity,” the slugly application says. May the best gastropod win.

The 35th SLUG queen coronation is 6:30 pm Friday, Aug. 11. BYOC (bring your own chair) at the Park Blocks stage on 8th and Oak. Music by One More Time marching band starts at 6 pm. FREE. — Camilla Mortensen