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Hot Air Society

June 29, 2017

Everyone in Oregon has a favorite Uncle Phil. Certainly Phil Knight fills that roll for many Duck fans. But even though I was once Senator Duck with the University of Oregon in my district, I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with that Uncle Phil.

June 22, 2017

How tense is it in Salem right now?  The governor just hired a crack team of medical specialists called cranio-proctologists to investigate the alleged legislative leadership. There’s ample evidence that the state Capitol is about to explode. And with less than a few weeks until the July 10 sine die date for adjournment, something needed to be done.

June 20, 2017

 I visited the state Capitol last week to see the zombies in action. The hallways were empty, even the lobbyists weren’t around. So I did the practical thing and had a beer with my state senator, Floyd Frank Prochoiceski, and former senator Jackie Dingfelder. Floyd described the lack of communication among the members and their respective caucuses. Succinctly speaking, Salem sucks.

June 8, 2017

Who could have imagined that when Barnum and Bailey closed their tents for good last month in New York that they would ship their leftover elephant effluvia and donkey dung to Oregon’s capitol! Circus Maximus! I say just send ’em all home and save the per diem. 

May 18, 2017

This is the week everyone anticipates in Salem every two years. The May 2017 state revenue forecast is the last tool available to the Legislature’s Ways and Means co-chairs to anticipate Oregon’s general fund problem for the next two years. The biennial crapshoot from hell. This year our economy’s going gangbusters. So the kicker may kick! With a $1.6 billion hole in our general fund! I hate it when that happens.

April 27, 2017

Cultural diversity stood at center stage when our Lane County commissioners bypassed conservative and liberal women and struck a blow for civil liberty. At this rate, we may have to change the name of Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard to Pat Farr Way … or Farr Away.

April 20, 2017

Dear reader, I think I got off on the wrong foot with the congressman from eastern Oregon. May need your help.

As you remember, I was inspired by my congressman, Peter DeFazio, to take action and resist the Republican/Trumpistanis! I reasonably assumed that the most important Republican in Oregon today is Congressman Walden from the 5th congressional district. I found his website, on which he assured me that email was “the quickest and easiest way to get in touch” with him.

April 6, 2017

First, a Salem legislative update: It ain’t lookin’ good. 

Look, I know from experience that our citizen-legislators barely earn minimum wage. But they’re currently overpaid, especially the Republicans. The 2017 legislature convened on Feb. 1. To date, it has produced nothing but hot air. The major issues — education funding, a transportation plan, PERS (Public Employees Retirement System) reform — are all pending. 

January 12, 2017

Just to be clear about my biases: I despise The Oregonian editorial board because it despises public employees and it misrepresents Oregon political reality because of it. And I’m also a retired Public Employees Retirement System (PERS) parasite, as my friends refer to me.

Ever since Oregon Democrats won control of both chambers of the Legislature in 2007, The Oregonian incessantly accuses Dems of monolithic control of the state without Republican input. That’s pure bullpucky! 

January 5, 2017

Republicans Donald Trump and Dennis Richardson do not lack chutzpah! Both the recently elected president and the recently elected Oregon secretary of state were already making headlines prior to their coronations. 

Trump’s carnival of cabinet picks and the UN-Israeli ruckus speak volumes about what we’re about to hear under Republican control in Washington, D.C. for the next two years. Breitbart News reports that Trump now intends to appoint El Chapo as the next head of the Drug Enforcement Agency.

December 22, 2016

Dear reader, I’ve missed you. We each made our own decisions prior to Election Day regarding what we might do based on the outcome. I voted by mail and chose knee replacement surgery before the election. My doctor then placed me on planet Norco 5, otherwise known as Vicodinville, for eight weeks of recovery. Apparently, something big happened while I was gone.

October 27, 2016

As you know, dear readers, the Hot Air Society is not only a social drinking club; we are also a 527 Super-PAC. We secretly authorized the distribution of Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphones to the Donald Trump, Bud Pierce, Art Robinson and Dennis Richardson campaigns. The incendiary phone has been blamed for one house fire, a burning Jeep and several alarming moments on airplanes. We felt it was the least we could do for them.

October 13, 2016

Two things happen in Oregon in even-numbered years. We hold a general election, and invasive alien biennial weed species (Lawnsignicus obnoxicus) appear in the Willamette Valley. These weeds first blossomed near Creswell on a local site known as Idiot Hill, for some reason. Suddenly there they were, crowded into their limited ecological niche, a dairy farm. They apparently thrive in cow poop. Four signs of the time: Trump/Pierce/Robinson/Richardson all held up by the same wooden stakes. Birds of a feather flock together.

October 6, 2016

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but the political season always makes me nervous behind the steering wheel.  Every two years here in the 4th Congressional District, I used to have an involuntary fight-or-flight reaction to any vehicles sporting an “Art Robinson” bumper sticker. I’d slam on the brakes and elude, just in case the driver was preparing for the Rapture at any moment. 

August 25, 2016

“Truth is stranger than Fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” — Mark Twain

This issue of EW comes out 10 days before Labor Day and 10 weeks before Election Day. 

July 21, 2016

When I was in the Oregon Legislature 20 years ago, I wrote an “insider baseball” perspective for EW on how ideas become bills, and how bills become laws. Out of office now for 12 years and retired for a year, some bills still piss me off.

June 23, 2016

Finally the insane national primary season is over; we have “presumptive” candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. We also have upcoming conventions in Cleveland and Philadelphia that might not be presumptively conventional. 

June 2, 2016

The scene for Oregon’s November general election just got clearer with the primary results. Although I haven’t seen detailed demographics, one statewide fact sticks out: Democrats turned out; Republicans didn’t. According to the Oregon secretary of state’s office, Dems turned out more than 66 percent of their party members, while R’s turned out less than 58 percent. Doesn’t sound like much of a margin until you consider that statewide the D’s turned out more than 230,000 more voters than the R’s. 

May 19, 2016

OK, you won’t read this until after the Oregon primary results are in, and I’m submitting these notes on the Monday before the election. As I’ve mentioned before, turnout in Oregon’s primary will be another opportunity to read the tea leaves in this sci-fi political year as we move toward November.  

May 12, 2016

I see all 19 loyal readers of this senile soliloquy heeded my request last column to quickly register to vote in the May 17 Oregon primary. In fact, between new motor voters and locals who switched parties to vote in closed primaries, the R-G reported that 12,000 Lane County residents received two ballots in the mail! 

April 21, 2016

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork. — Edward Abbey

I confess I may have too much time on my hands as a geezer/retiree. These days, instead of plowing through unemployment cases as I did in my last 12 years with the state appeals board, I’ve gone back to enjoying some of my favorite desert rat ecologists. 

March 31, 2016

Wolf update: Gov. Kate Brown signed HB 4040 into law on March 15. Opponents of the original de-listing (and this bill) believed the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW) previously broke the law when it removed state endangered species protections from gray wolves; so they sued. They contend de-listing was premature and not supported by independent scientific review: bad science, bad bill. That case against de-listing is currently before the Oregon Court of Appeals (COA).

March 24, 2016

OK, enough about Oregon’s February legislative session. Nothing happened except the minimum wage increased and Oregon banned coal as an energy source. Democrats bragged about those issues and about fixing Portland’s affordable housing crisis. In their press releases, Republicans described February as “the most destructive month in Oregon legislative history,” and predictably bragged about their obstruction and attacked the “one-party” Democrats. Whatever. I’m still pissed that the Democrats used a Trojan Horse bill to make Canis lupus a sacrificial lamb. Bad biology, governor.

March 10, 2016

Warning: This column contains graphic depictions of political sausage-making and may cause an involuntary gag reflex.