Best of Eugene 2010-2011: Best of the Ballots
BEST CATEGORY WE SHOULD’VE INCLUDED (AND WHO’D WIN)
Best street corner sign — “I bet you can’t hit me with a quarter.”
Cleanest public bathroom — I DON’T KNOW, I AM STILL LOOKING FOR IT.
Least likely to be good at playing guitar: the guy with the guitar next to me on the EmX.
BEST LOCAL UPROAR
Ballot stuffing the Best of Eugene (That plaque isn’t worth the bad juju.)
BEST LOCALLY BREWED BEER
Ninkasi, and that beer called “FUCK YOU I’M AN IPA!” Oh, wait, that’s all of them.
BEST RADIO SHOW
That John Cooney guy! His dulcet tones and rippling streams and birdcalls and his canoe splashing gently, it’s like auditory Valium.
BEST CHEAP DATE
Half a bottle of whiskey and a full tank of gas.
Drinking in the Rose Gardens after hours, running from the timed sprinklers, trying to keep your paper drinking bags from disintegrating.
BEST PLACE TO GET A LAST-MINUTE GIFT
What, a “free back rub” gift certificate isn’t classy enough?
BEST ADDITION TO EUGENE
Gramma Havoc!!!!! There is no better! She is the most free spirited, honest, and sincere soul. Her support of all roller girls has made a huge impact on them all. She is the most dedicated, supportive fan ever!!!! We love you Gramma Havoc!
BEST WAY TO IMPROVE EUGENE
If we could get a unicorn, that would be nice.