Eugene Weekly : Coverstory : 2.14.08

loving your body

Come On, Feel the Noise
Plug and play 
BY MERCEDES BARSTOW

Ladies, looking to jazz up the ol’ gym routine? Gentlemen, wondering, “What else can I do with my new iTouch?”

EW‘s here to tell you: You can crank up the volume — and crank up your sex life.

We’re not talking watching porn on a tiny screen, here. Nope. Out there in this creative world are battery-driven sex toys designed to work with mp3 players — perhaps you’ll buy one for your sig other along with a Nano for Valentine’s Day?

First and, er, largest, there’s the OhMiBod, which Amazon hilariously — and in time-honored fashion for vibrator sales across this wide-open country — calls a “personal massager.” Yes, very personal. Head to www.ohmibod.comto check out the options, which include the basic vibrator and a G-spot special (both with iPhone adaptors). Hook the splitter up to the mp3 player, attach earphones and 3-ft. long vibrator cord, and you’re good to come. Hint: The volume controls vibration intensity, not the beat of the music. So if you need to get off to Anne Murray or Joni Mitchell, just remember to turn ’em up.

For those who prefer talking to listening, OhMiBod also offers the BodiTalk, a vibrator remotely controlled by a cellphone. Once the phone rings, the BodiTalk vibrates until the call is consummated.

But at OhMiBod, everything’s rather longish and mostly hot pink — not that there’s anything wrong with that. Still, what about something for guys and het couples?

Nothing in the U.S. just yet, sorry, men; but the Brits have an idea: the iBuzz. Check out lovehoney.co.uk for the vibrating eggs (some call them “bullets”) that get packaged with both a pink bunny and a soft blue cock ring. Want to see a demonstration (somewhat safe for work)? Head to YouTube and type “ShinyGasm” in the search engine. Pick “Shiny Video Review: Ann Summers iGasm and Love Honey iBuzz.” Bonus: There are five videos with vibrator reviews from these women, including a review of the BodiTalk, in case the videos on the OhMiBod website didn’t wet, er, whet, your interest.

Speaking of the iGasm (available at www.annsummers.com),its ad seriously pissed off Apple, but you can see a bit of it — and watch a similar ad — online (igasm.info). That ad, actually for OhMiBod, is also available on YouTube (www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM__KaXcFBs)if you want to go through the hassle of verifying your age. The trademark white iPod outline comes in mighty handy for this marketing plan!

The message here, girls and boys? We hear it moaned in loud and clear: Tune in, turn on and get off.

 

On the OhMiBod website, customers can link (anonymously if they desire) to iTunes mixes for the OhMiBod experience.

Here’s a taste of the mixes:

 

The Country Mix (aka someone in luv with Trace Adkins)

“Swing” by Trace Adkins

“Ladies Love Country Boys” by Trace Adkins

“Dangerous Men” by Trace Adkins

“Get Drunk and Be Somebody” Toby Keith

 

Music to Hit a Home Run

“Sound in a Dark Room” Telefon Tel Aviv

“Striaght to Video” Mindless Self-Indulgence

“Galang” M.I.A.

“Random” Lady Sovereign

“Nth Degree” Morningwood

“Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt” We Are Scientists

 

Feelin the ’80s

“I Ran (So Far Away)” A Flock of Seagulls

“Back on the Chain Gang” The Pretenders

“Like a Virgin” Madonna

“Always Something There to Remind Me” Naked Eyes

 

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