Babylon A.D.: Vin Diesel stars as a mercenary hired to take a package from Eastern Europe to New York City in a post-apocalypic world. There’s more to the package than expected, though. With Michelle Yeoh. Directed by Mathieu Kassovitz (Gothika). PG13. 90 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
College: Wacky teen comedy clichés ensue when three high school kids visit a local college. Yes, I’m rolling my eyes as I write this. R. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Disaster Movie: Is anyone else starting to find these mind-numbingly uncreative “spoof” flicks insulting? All kinds of disasters befall people! No WAY! Alas, way. PG13. 90 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Fly Me to the Moon: Three flies hitch a ride on Apollo 11. First flies in space! Apparently, this movie will “introduce a whole new generation to the awe-inspiring achievements of the space program’s most momentous mission.” Are there no better ways to do that? G. 84 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Frozen River: Melissa Leo plays a struggling mother who gets involved with a smuggling operation with Lila (Misty Upham), a young Mohawk woman from a nearby reservation. Roger Ebert says it’s “one of those rare independent films that knows precisely what it intends, and what the meaning of the story is.” R. 97 min. Bijou. See review this issue.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: It’s the only mainstream movie opening this weekend! It’s got Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett and Shia LeBoeuf and sassy Raiders of the Lost Ark dame Karen Allen! Also, it takes place 19 years after the underrated third film in a world facing the possibility of nuclear annihilation. That’s about all I’ve got. That and a big plastic Indy whip. PG13. 124 min. Movies 12. (5/29)
Traitor: This dude-heavy flick stars Guy Pearce (where’s he been lately?) as an FBI agent investigating a former officer (the always impressive Don Cheadle) who has a habit of turning up just when something big is going down. PG13. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Why We Fight: Director Eugene Jarecki (The Trials of Henry Kissinger) makes a compelling, if not exactly groundbreaking, case for viewing the military-industrial complex as another massive corporation. PG-13. 7 pm Sunday, Aug. 31, at Cozmic Pizza. Free; donations benefit Iraq Veterans Against the War. Online archives.
Bottle Shock: Alan Rickman stars as the owner of a Parisian wine shop who finds all kinds of surprises (not least that the wine isn’t that bad) when he heads to California to pick a few wines to use in a tasting contest. With Bill Pullman (as a perfectionist winery owner), Chris Pine and Rachael Taylor. PG14. 108 min. Cinemark.
Dark Knight, The: Christopher Nolan’s second take on the alter ego of Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), who has a new nemesis in the Joker (Heath Ledger, earning whispers of a posthumous Oscar nod), is both an enthrallingly entertaining summer action movie and a complicated moral tangle. With Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine and Aaron Eckhart. PG13.152 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15. (7/24)
Death Race: Jason Statham (The Transporter) is a falsely convicted criminal (and racing champ) forced to take part in an evil prison warden (Joan Allen)’s brutal race, in which convicts compete … for their lives! With Ian McShane. R. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Hamlet 2: High school drama teacher Dana Marschz (the reliably funny Steve Coogan) decides to produce a musical sequel to Hamlet that pushes the envelope in countless ways. Amy Poehler is the ACLU attorney who helps him fight the power; Elisabeth Shue plays, um, herself. The main song? “Rock Me Sexy Jesus.” Sold. R. 92 min. VRC Stadium 15. See review this issue.
Hancock: Grumpy, drunken, superpowered Hancock (Will Smith, aka Mr. July) has a habit of wreaking considerable destuction when saving lives. But a PR guy (Jason Bateman) somehow shows Hancock that he does have a softer side. He can be better! At least I think that’s what he says in the ads. PG13. 92 min. Movies 12.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: “The world’s toughest kitten-loving hero from Hell” (Ron Perlman) — with sidekick Abe (Doug Jones, last seen as the Faun in director Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth) and love interest Liz (Selma Blair) — finds himself standing between an army of fantastic creatures and the world as we know it when an ancient truce is broken. PG13. Movies 12. (7/17)
House Bunny, The: Playboy bunny Shelley Darlington (Anna Faris) gets booted from the mansion and finds herself helping the members of a sorority that’s in danger of losing its house. She teaches them about makeup! They teach her about individuality! Please, Hollywood. Stop that. PG13. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Iron Man: The first major summer flick stars Robert Downy Jr. as Tony Stark, a wealthy industrialist who devises a suit that gives him the superheroic ability to take down baddies who misuse his destructive technology. Awesome. With Jeff Bridges, Terrence Howard and Gwyneth Paltrow. PG13. Movies 12. (5/8)
Journey to the Center of the Earth: Brendan Fraser stars as a less-than-traditional scientist who finds himself leading his nephew and a friend into the center of the earth, where there’s … another world! In 3D, which makes all those falling rocks and underground dinosaurs even more exciting. PG. 89 min. VRC Stadium 15.
Kung Fu Panda: Jack Black — or at least his voice — stars as Po the Panda, a waiter whose love for kung fu serves him well when it turns out there’s a prophecy about him saving the world from some powerful enemies. With the voices of Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie and Jackie Chan. PG. 88 min. Movies 12.
Longshots, The: Inspirational sports movie, ahoy! Ice Cube stars as the high school football coach who rallies his team (and town) around the school’s first female quarterback (Keke Palmer). I suspect victory lies ahead. PG13. Cinemark.
Mamma Mia!: Get the song outta my head! Oh, too late. Anyway, the giant hit Broadway musical becomes a giant film starring Meryl Streep as the mother whose daughter (Amanda Seyfried of Veronica Mars) wants to find out who her father is: Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan or Stellan Skarsgard. Oh, and there’s some Abba. PG13. 108 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Mirrors: You know that mirror gag in horror films? When someone swings their medicine cabinet into place and — gasp! — there’s someone in the room? This pretty much looks like an entire movie of the mirror gag. With a lot of screaming. And Kiefer Sutherland. R. 110 min. Cinemark.
Mummy, The: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Brendan Fraser goes on his second summer adventure and his third as “explorer” Rick O’Connell. Rick’s got to take down a long-dead emperor (Jet Li) who, one assumes, wants to take over the world (isn’t that what evil emperors do?). PG13. 112 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Pineapple Express: Generally, this comedy (written by the same folks as Superbad) is about a pot dealer, one of his customers and some folks who want to kill them. Mostly. Kinda. Sorta. Directed by David Gordon Green, whose usual fare (All the Real Girls) is a little different. R. 111 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15. (8/14)
Rocker, The: You know it’s August when you get a movie about a former hair metal drummer whose nephew just so happens to, like, really need a drummer, man! Rainn Wilson is the ex-metal dude; sassy Emma Stone (Superbad) is in this and The House Bunny, the poor thing. PG13. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: The sequel to the sweet and light 2005 film jumps ahead three years (and, I gather, a few books in the series) to the foursome’s departure for different colleges. Stars America Ferrera, Blake Lively (now a bigger name thanks to Gossip Girl), Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel. PG13. 117 min. VRC Stadium 15.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Animated film sits between Attack of the Clones and, um… oh yeah: Revenge of the Sith. (I really had to think about that.) Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda and other familiar faces — and a young Padawan named Ahsoka — face off against the Sith while the Separatists and Galactic Empire battle for the fate of the galaxy. Or something. It’s got lightsabers; what else do you need to know? PG. 90 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15.
Step Brothers: Just what the world doesn’t need: another Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly comedy. This time, the two are immature fellows whose parents get married. They hate each other, and then they love each other, and then they have to save the family. And every single joke in the trailer falls flat. R. VRC Stadium 15.
Tell No One: Incredibly well-reviewed French thriller about Alex (Francois Cluzet), a man who’s believed his wife dead for eight years — until he receives an email that appears to be from her. Bodies are found near where she died, and Alex is a suspect; he takes off in search of the truth. “Here is how a thriller should be made,” said Roger Ebert. NR. 125 min. Bijou. (8/21)
Tropic Thunder: Ben Stiller directs this wildly funny if somewhat meandery send-up of actors and war movies; he also stars (with Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr.) as one of the primadonna actors whose director (Steve Coogan) decides to impart a bit of realism to his Vietnam film — by dropping his stars into the jungle and filming their reactions. R. 107 min. Cinemark. VRC Stadium 15. (8/21)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Woody Allen’s latest involves a man (Javier Bardem), his crazy ex-wife (Penelope Cruz) and two young American women (Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall) with whom the former couple becomes “amorously entangled.” Is anyone else having a hard time taking this summary seriously? PG13. 96 min. VRC Stadium 15.
WALL-E: The latest from the geniuses at Pixar is about a lonely trash-cleaning robot on what’s left of Earth. A sleek robot named EVE discovers, when she visits the deserted planet, that WALL-E’s figured out something important, so off to the stars (and the humans) she races, a besotted WALL-E in pursuit. “One of the best movies of the year,” said Richard Roeper. G. 97 min. Cinemark. (7/3)
Wanted: This disasatrously bad Angelina Jolie-starring assassin flick is directed by Timur Bekmanbetov, who was behind the underseen Night Watch. Jolie and Morgan Freeman are part of the Fraternity, a secret society of assassins; the usually delightful James McAvoy is the whingy former office drone who gets recruited after his father is killed. R. 110 min. Movies 12.
X-Files: I Want to Believe: Oh, Chris Carter. You gave me a title like that and then … you failed. I wanted to believe that this X-film, coming years after the last and apparently requiring no previous knowledge of the X-Files mythology, would be as good as possible, but you stuffed it full of stupidity. And some offensiveness, too. Fie. PG13. Movies 12. (7/31)
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan: Adam Sandler plays an Israeli commando who really wants to be a hairstylist in this gently mocking and fun comedy from the minds of Sandler, Judd Apatow (Knocked Up) and Robert Smigel (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog). PG13. Movies 12. (6/12)
Bijou Art Cinemas
Bijou Theater 686-2458 | 492 E. 13th
VRC Stadium 15 342-6536 | Valley River Center
Movies 12 741-1231 | Gateway Mall
Cinemark 17 741-1231 | Gateway Mall