Game Plan Trashed
Joking aside, YOUR MOM is one of the most talented mens roller derby teams in the world. From Des Moines, Iowa, the team features champion speed-skating brothers Dante “Tinkerbell” and Tony “Peter Pan” Muse, RollerJam veteran Jason “Seahorses Forever” McDaniel, and a strong collection of guys born with skates on their feet.
With this in mind, it is not surprising our local upstart Lane County Concussion suffered a 342-81 loss at the skates of YOUR MOM Sunday morning in Bremerton, Wash. It was never close. YOUR MOM jumped out to a 100-8 lead within 10 minutes. YOUR MOMs Tallerina and Peter Pan whizzed around the track racking up points, while blockers Seahorses Forever and Sugarboots controlled Concussion skaters and baited them into committing penalties. Three Concussion skaters were ejected for too many trips to the penalty box.
“We did not follow our game plan today,” Concussion skater J.F. Kaos said. “We were frazzled from the first whistle and never got our wits about us. It was humbling.”
The Lane County Concussion will have an opportunity for redemption against Portland Mens Roller Derby this Saturday, July 9, at Willamalane Sports Center in Springfield. Visit www.brownpapertickets.com/event/182116 for tickets. ã James Warmels